Jamaican Pudding


This is something which is dear to my heart. Well was, I repeat, was! From all of the former girlfriends I had, they were really lousy and they still are. I’m not surprised on that. As I look back on the wrong decisions I have made, I have only one girlfriend that was black British. And she was Congolese/Jamaican as well. Two were biracial and one East African. But mostly the other exes were Jamaican. I’m doing this in five parts because it will be quite long to read and some of the parts do have sexual references, but hey, we ain’t holding back.

In 1995, my first sexual encounter was with a Jamaican chick when I was a teenager but let me take you to 1999 when I was 17 years old. On that year, my died from a stroke. He had told my mum that if he dies, he wanted to get buried in Jamaica next to his parents. As he got his wish, me and my family took his body to White Hall, St Thomas, Jamaica. After the funeral, I was thinking about what I’m goanna do without my father in my life now because he’s but that’s another story. Right, it was getting dark. Me and my older cousin went out to the district one evening so I can find a girl. Then I met this chick who was 18 years old and had a one year old son who wanted to talk to me. So, me and her sat down and talked. We talked for a long time.

Then I begin kissing her face. They I was touching between her legs. She moved her hand but she wasn’t upset. I wanted to kiss her on the lips. Then I was touching between her legs again. She moved my hand once more. Then I kissed her on her face. There was one woman that was cheering and laughing. She had a nice body. Me and her head to my aunt’s. Well she walked me to the house. After we say good night, we both kissed which set the Jamaican night on fire. As I head to my aunt’s house in a dizzy state of mind from the passionate kiss, I told my family about her. As I did, they were not happy at all. They didn’t like her because she’s a whore, thief, etc. My cousin said she’s no good because she has a whole leap of man; she’s a whore and all that. After that Jamaican lecture he gave me, I went to bed with my head still spinning like a whirlpool.

The next day I saw her again. She wanted to talk to me about this Christian girl that I met earlier before. So she told me to see her tonight. Later on in the evening I went to see her and she wanted to talk about the Christian girl. Yes, there was jealousy there because she wasn’t happy about that. After when me and her finished talking about it, we just hold each other right through the evening just kissing. I really wanted to have sex with her and I mean I really wanted to have sex with her. My family members say that I must stay away from her. So did my cousin.

It was a Sunday evening and it was raining heavily. Lighting strike all over Jamaica. Me and her was sheltering from the rain. Me and her went to her house. I was sitting outside her house and she went inside to do something. When she came out of the house, she sit right on top of me. We kissed with some mad passion and I mean with some passion. We kissed for about a few minutes or so and then I was beginning sucking her breasts, both of them. But I know me and her wasn’t goanna end up under the bed sheets to make love. And that’s what I really regret. Not making love to her in her house.

My thoughts were running wild through my head because of this fucking girl but I did see the Christian girl. My family members say that go for the Christian girl because she better for you. Me and the baby mother talked about the Christian woman. As I about to leave, she says that “You better make a decision which one you want to be with. Is it me or her?” Then my head went into two different directions. I like the both of them but to be with someone in a relationship, you have to choose only one.

So, I come back to North West London with my dad’s wish coming true by burying him in Jamaica but I have this choice in my head. I thought about it for about a few days and then I made my decision. I decided to go for the Christian chick. So I written a letter to her and said that I’m going for the Christian chick. I thought I made the right choice to take the Christian chick but fuck I was wrong on that, star! The last time I’ve seen her was in 2007 in Jamaica. She was there for a holiday and I think she had other kids. She’s lives in Toronto, Canada. I saw her staring at me and I think to myself “Hold up! I know this girl.” She wanted to talk to me and I went to her. And she say that “Do you remember me?” And I said yes I do.

Me and her was just talking, chatting, no passionate kissing like in 1999. I don’t know how long we’ve talked but it was a nice conversation. She said that are you with the Christian and I said no. As we finished talking, me and her shook hands. We both laugh because if we hug, we might end up kissing and I’m goanna start thinking “I’m goanna see her later tonight!” but in 2003, Jesus Christ!

It was the summer of 2003 and my mum and my aunt was celebrating their birthday (Their birthday was on 30th April but that is the not the story I’m talking about). I saw this Jamaican fatty. I couldn’t stop staring at her. We were talking all night and then we were dancing. She took my number and she took mine. It was a Tuesday evening. It was sunny evening as well. She text me that could she have fifteen pounds so she can go to Manchester. I should of look at this and see that as a red flag.

I met up with her up at Wembley Central. We both kissed. We head to King Edward VII park with my hand around her wide waist. I give her the fifteen pounds. I don’t know why. We sit down on the bench together and we were just chatting. As things when quite with me and her, I went on top of her and I was kissing her Jamaican lips while she was sitting on the bench. She locked her feet around my ankles. I kind of like that actually. I unzipped her hoodie and lift up her shirt. I was squeezing her breasts for about a few minutes.

In the relationship, I just saw nothing but red flags. Because she was only interested in using me financially asking me to buy credit for her phone and the worse thing is that me and her wasn’t even intimate at all. It was my birthday and she was asking me to buy credit. On my fucking birthday. I tell you black men, these scraggle daggles are worthless especially the ones in Jamaica. It seems like this narcissist from Jamaica was playing games with me, so it was like I might as well chat up other girls, you get me? I just stop calling her because I just had enough.

I saw her at my mum’s house. Mum was keeping something some party thing. Me and her was having a conversation. I was feeling really bitter because I felt that I was being used. And at that time, I didn’t have a voice that time. When we was talking outside, she said that she have been hurt. But hurt by what? What men did to hurt you? But you know, gold diggers don’t feel anything. When we broke up, I felt so sick to the stomach, I just wanted to throw up! Oh my God! When she was leaving, she says she will call me. She better don’t fucking call me!

The next day, I told my friend from Kingsbury that I broke up with her. I told him everything. I even told him that I wanted to fuck her with no condom. He went into complete shock when I told him that. It was a shock to his system when I told him that I wanted to fuck her and shoot up inside her. Not only she was a gold digging heifer but she was a smoker as well. And she always accuses me of lying also. But what the fifteen pounds that I gave her to go to Manchester? Is she lying on that?

Things got bitter with me and her. Always clashing. I just really didn’t like this person at all. There was one time and she ask me for five pounds for mini cab to go home. She ask me more then once. Then I told her that why you always asking me for everything?” She says that “OK, OK!” and she walks out of my mum’s house upset. First of all, I’m not giving anything and second, the N98 bus still was running you know. Why she just take the bus to Kingsbury? Damn! In 2005, I was thinking to myself “Why did you let these whores use you!? The fuck man! Yo blud, you meant to be street! You’re from North West London! You meant to be a street boy! Be street!”

All man up at Church Road like Weed Man Jake come to me and said “Your ah idiot Donovan, your ah idiot! You make the gyal take you fi fool and you make her use you and she ah a give money you give her to the next man and the next man ah press it. Mi ah gyaliss you know! Mi have gyal in Willesden, Harlesden, Neasden, Watford and up ah Luton!” And then Rapid Fire Rasta walk out out of a woman’s house and say “What ya do now Donovan? You make gyal use you? Why you make gyal use you? Your not a gyaliss! You say your a big time pick up artist and you know about art of seduction and, and, and make gyal use you for money? You have to be a gyaliss man! You have to be soundrel! You see me ah soundrel? You see me have a whole leap of gyal you know” I’m just joking guys. Lol!

So I change my persona and become street. I just walk down the streets with that anti nice guy attitude. When you are being nice, the girls will have the green light to play games with you and they become victorious. I have done an article called Hard To Be Nice when I explained of being the nice guy is very hard thing.

In 2005, I saw her with her friend sitting next to Willesden Bus Garage. She saw me and I saw her. We both talk for under a minute. Then she asks me that do I have a girlfriend. I said no and she says why. And I said that because I don’t want a girlfriend. After I walked off she ask me that do I have five pound and I said I don’t have, and then I walk off. Then I saw her again in 2006 and then in saw her at a rave in 2009. That’s it really. I haven’t seen her since then. I’m still asking questions about her and her insecurities. But in 2006, things got so steamy beyond my wildest dreams. And I mean beyond my wildest dreams.

To Be Continued


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